We offer you these important reminders:

• Since states and even some counties can have slightly different rules, call or visit your city hall to be sure you know all the details of the legal requirements in your area.

• And don’t wait until the last minute to make this call. Most states require that you have the license at least 72 hours prior to the wedding. Keep in mind that marriage licenses can also have expiration dates. The usual range is from 30- 90 days.

• Know that the couple must apply together and in person. In some areas all that you may need is a valid photo ID like your driver’s license or passport. In other areas you may need to show a birth certificate.

• If you have been married before, you may be expected to bring proof that your previous marriage was LEGALLY ended. This can be done with either a divorce degree or death certificate.

• Be prepared to pay for the license that day. Depending on the area of the country, fees can range from $20 - $100.

We are always asked about ideas for receptions.

We have answered lots of questions from

brides who wonder what to do. Feel free to stop

in and ask any of our experienced consultants for

their help. Here are some of the questions we

are asked.

How can I handle guests who respond to the

invitation and state on the reply card that the

number planning to attend is larger than the

number invited?

If you truly can’t handle the additional guests,

we suggest that you turn to your maid of honor

or a tactful bridesmaid. Ask her to call the guests

and explain that the bride would love to extend

her guest list, but unfortunately it is impossible.

The reason? Budget concerns or space already

filled. If the person is offended – and some will

be – they are not true friends. After all, they were

the ones who have overstepped the etiquette

boundaries. Often, the “extras” are uninvited children.

To avoid this situation, the reception card

should read, “adults only reception”. Emotions

are involved in these situations;so don’t get upset

if people sometimes act rudely.

Everyone seems to have an opinion about what

I should and shouldn’t do at my wedding. How

can I please so many different people?

We suggest that you do not try to impress anyone.

Long after the event is history, it will be

your creativity and warmth that are re m e mbered,

not the suggestions that you did not

follow. Have pots of your favorite flowers as

table centerpieces, serve local specialties, label

tables with your favorite places or hobbies, assign

singles to a partner, place nibbles at strategic

places, and be generous with warm greetings.

The success of your reception depends on

efforts to create warm hospitality.

Inside the Groom’s Mind

By Miles Stiverson (theknot.com)

We’re not selling grooms short: There are a lot of guys who count “expressing my feelings” as a forte, and who are engaged in the drama of a seating chart. Communication is a cornerstone of any good relationship, but the high tension, strange customs, and unfamiliar etiquette that come with planning a wedding can leave some guys speechless, and many brides aggravated. Here’s what he really wants you to know, and how to handle it, without even having to ask.

“You have to tell me what I’m responsible for.”
You might expect him to plan the honeymoon, and might hope for a present on the morning of the wedding, but does he know what a groom traditionally takes care of? Unless he’s been sneaking a peek at your bridal magazines, he might be totally unaware that he has any responsibilities after he proposes. And if he’s among the first of his friends to get married, he probably doesn’t have anyone dishing these valuable tips to him.

Relationship Rx Telling your groom what you expect of him is not poor etiquette — it’s necessary, and he’ll welcome the guidance. If you’re not comfortable filling him in on some of the details (like the bride’s gift, for example), ask one of your bridesmaids to bring it up so that he gets the hint (and so you don’t get mad).

“I have no idea what napkins will go best with our linens, but that does not mean I don’t care.”
You mention how you’d like your bouquet to match his boutonniere, and his eyes glaze over. You show him a motif you’re going to add to all your stationery, and he responds with a shrug. It’s tempting to interpret reactions like these as disinterest in your wedding (and, in turn, your relationship), but don’t be so quick to pounce.

Relationship Rx Even if your groom doesn’t have strong feelings about the decor, he wants the wedding to look good just as much as you do. His mild interest in the details doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about the wedding — it means he trusts your tastes. Ask him specific questions, like “Which flower do you like better?” and you’re more likely to get a direct response.

“I want you to look like you.”
Every bride wants to look her best for her wedding, but some risk changing their style too dramatically with heavy makeup, big hair, and too many accessories.

Relationship Rx While there’s nothing wrong with getting glamorous for your wedding, your groom doesn’t want you to change your look so much that he doesn’t recognize the girl who’s walking down the aisle. He fell in love with you seeing you every day, so remind him of that with hair and makeup that are distinctly you.

“My friends aren’t D-class citizens.”
Just because you might not like one (or a few) of his friends, doesn’t mean you can seat them in Siberia during the reception. If you stick a table of his buddies in a corner while your friends have a prime spot near the dance floor, they will notice, and they’ll probably wonder why they got the short end of the seating chart.

Relationship Rx Make a game plan for your reception seating that follows logic more than favoritism. Give close family and attendants the best seats in the house, and arrange tables from there. If you have to put a group of his friends toward the back, show there’s no ill will by seating your friends in a similar position.

“Don’t ask for my opinion if you don’t really want to hear it.”
With so many tough planning decisions to be made, it’s natural to second guess yourself and seek out your groom’s opinion. And that’s fine, but not if you’re asking him only to reinforce something you’ve basically already decided. If he tells you his thoughts (the ones that disagree with you), your response shouldn’t be along the lines of, “Are you serious?”

Relationship Rx Turn to him when you’re really torn about a choice, and he’ll gladly give his input. When you know exactly what you want, however, go with your gut rather than put him in a position to pick an option you would never really consider.

“Let me decide which parts I want to be involved in — then maybe I’ll do more!”
Getting your groom to attend the cake-tasting is a cinch. And he’ll probably be up for choosing your playlist. But shove a binder of sample invites in front of him and he’ll be thinking of nothing other than an exit strategy.

Relationship Rx Your powers of persuasion may be exceptional, but wedding planning is a whole new terrain. Involve him in the details you know he’ll enjoy, but don’t force it or his instinct might be to resist. Instead, let him know about some of the less interesting tasks piled on your plate, and he’ll be more willing to offer his assistance if he sees you’re stressed.

“I’m not wearing a sailboat bow tie.”
Dreaming of a perfectly coordinated wedding party? Think he’d look handsome in a classic, full-dress tailcoat tux? Make suggestions about the formalwear, but let him choose his own attire. You don’t want to look at your photos years later and see him cringe at his white linen wedding suit (that was your pick, naturally).

Relationship Rx Although your fashion sense might be on-point, what matters most is that he’s comfortable in his formalwear. Just like you wouldn’t want to wear a gown you consider unflattering, he shouldn’t wear an outfit that he feels doesn’t fit right.

“Don’t give me a curfew the night before the wedding.”
The rehearsal dinner often segues into a late-night party. If he’s having a great time, you’re liable to put a damper on things if you insist he turn in before midnight.

Relationship Rx Despite what he does the night before, you can rest assured he’ll show up for the wedding… and that he’ll arrive on time. If you’re really concerned, ask his most responsible groomsman to keep an eye on him, and to remind him that he wouldn’t want to endure the wedding day with a hangover.

“The bachelor party is off-limits.”
You’ve had a hand in every aspect of planning the wedding — so why shouldn’t you have a say in his night out with the guys? We know of many a bride who has suggested a particular cigar bar or offered up her parents’ vacation home for the festivities.

Relationship Rx Be careful how you tread when it comes to his bachelor party — though it may seem like an immature tradition to you, for some guys it’s practically sacred. To give suggestions, let alone put boundaries on the party, implies that you don’t trust him, which is a shaky way to start a marriage. By showing him that you trust him completely, he’ll be reminded again why you’re the perfect bride.

Most wedding customs are so stale you could leave almost all of them out of your big day and hardly anyone would notice. No one ever has walked out of a reception saying, “The food was divine, but I can’t believe we didn’t do the chicken dance. I declare.” (I have no idea why I gave that guest a southern accent. It just felt right.)

There are four traditions that stand the test of time. They are personalized vows, the open bar, the best man’s speech and the honeymoon. It’s these four that can make a wedding special for the bride and groom and everyone in attendance.

Personalized vows
I’ve been to wedding ceremonies in which couples wrote their own vows and it made the entire day. When two people take the time to personalize the most important words they’ll ever say to each other, it causes the guests to think “Hey, these kids have a shot. They’re not just getting married. They’re marrying each other.” That’s a big difference.

The traditional “for better or for worse” vows don’t do the bride and groom justice. These people have been through better and worse. They have planned an American wedding, an event that in modern dollars and man-hours equals approximately the entire Normandy Invasion. If you can plan a wedding together, you can live together, buy a house together, invade Nazi Europe together, etc.

And vows should be meaningful. If your fiancé is putting you through college, praise him. If you both share an unhealthy devotion to the Food Network’s Rachael Ray, mention it. If you have an embarrassing story that shows how much your husband loves you, please share it with all so that we may mock him mercilessly at the reception. This is why we come to weddings. Well, this and …

The open bar
Going to a wedding reception that does not have an open bar is like going to California and only seeing Fresno. No offense to Fresno, which I am told is lovely, but no one goes to the West Coast just to check out the haps in the San Joaquin Valley. At the risk of mixing analogies, you go to California to drink margaritas in San Diego, have a few Red Bull and vodkas in Los Angeles and enjoy fine wine in San Francisco.

An open bar is part of the unspoken contract between bridal party and guests. In exchange for a generous gift and any expenses incurred through the purchase of new hair styling, clothes or travel, you must provide your guests with an opportunity to make total asses of themselves in a rented space. You win out in the long run because you will own your reception video — and what is left of their reputations — forever.

Besides, you don’t want to be known as a closed-bar wedding. You could host an elaborate ceremony on a scenic Hawaiian bluff with the Rev. Jesse Jackson presiding as the bride and groom parachute from a B-52 Stratofortress while Yo-Yo Ma and Kid Rock perform a breathtaking duet and, if you don’t provide free booze, the only thing any guy in attendance will say about that day is, “Dude, closed bar.”

Best man’s speech
Everyone always listens during the best man’s speech. I mean really listens. Uncles who don’t listen to aunts, teens who don’t listen to parents, old people who don’t listen to doctors — they all pay real close attention when the best man speaks. It’s so quiet you can actually hear the DJ fantasizing about his sweet Trans-Am. Yes, it’s that quiet.

Have you ever wondered why we pay such close attention? Here’s why. The best man’s speech is the ultimate seal of approval. Here’s a man who’s probably a lifelong friend of the groom. This man knows in the back of his mind that their friendship will never be the same. No one in the room has more to lose by this couple getting married. But if this man who is losing his best friend and facing many a lonely weekend playing Xbox, if this man can give his blessing, then who can object?

And that’s why we listen to his words, because he is the most objective person in the room, because what he is expressing is as close to real honesty as you’ll ever hear from a public speaker and because, with a little luck, he’ll be just tipsy enough to pull a Steve Buscemi from “The Wedding Singer.”

The honeymoon
The more I research the origin of the honeymoon, the more I wish I was a Viking. (To be fair, everything makes me wish I was a Viking.) Legend has it that Northern European men in the mood to marry used to abduct their wives from neighboring villages and take them into hiding while the bride’s father and brothers hunted them down. This hiding period came to be known as the honeymoon. How romantic.

The name itself came from a drink the bride and groom would share — mead — that was made from honey. Couples would drink a cup of mead per day during the first 30 days of marriage, presumably to take the edge off the wife’s recent kidnapping. (Admit it. There’s a part of you that longs to be kidnapped by a take-no-prisoners Norseman who never wears shirts. I know how you women think.)

In a twist of fate that surely has generations of Viking fathers rolling over in their fiery ship graves, many parents now pay for their daughter’s honeymoon. (To keep up with modern times, perhaps we should rename the whole tradition boxedwinemoon. I’m just throwing that out there.)

The tradition is a keeper. Marriage is a celebration of love. You can share that with your family and friends, and we’re glad you do. But it should be an intimate celebration too, because this is the person you will be spending the rest of your life with — not us — and the only way to do that moment justice is alone with beautiful sunsets, lots of laughter and at least a 30-day supply of mead.

Do you know the KEY to a stress-free wedding day and experiencing the wedding of your dreams? DETAILS, DETAILS, DETAILS! Paying attention to the smallest details will ensure the success of your wedding. Never assume that details will “fall into place” or “take care of themselves”. Review all aspects of your wedding and identify areas where difficulties may arise and develop a plan in advance to handle these problems. Cover all your expectations with each vendor verbally and have everything in writing. Confirm and re-confirm each detail throughout the planning process, such as arrival times, set-up completion times, what is provided - does your caterer provide someone to cut your cakes, who provides the cake knives and servers; who will make sure there is champagne in your toasting flutes at the time of the toasts; does your photographer have a list of all special photographs you would like, do your ushers know the proper way to seat your guests at the ceremony……so many more could be listed. A professional wedding coordinator would be your most valuable asset in ensuring all details are handled prior to and the day of your wedding. You have spent months planning this most special day…..now be assured that you will enjoy every minute and will have only beautiful memories to cherish!